Maybe, Someday
by FlowerPot21
Summary: It’s arrogant of him to think that time will be kind to him, but maybe, someday, if he were to drive off now, that when he comes back, he will be able to get out of the goddamn car...E/C
1. One

_Was going through E/C withdrawal. Christmas fic, because, well, Christmas is all about family, giving and E/C angsty love, isn't it? Pliant is coming along, and Carillon Beach will have a resolution at some point, have not forgotten about it. Enjoy.

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Maybe, Someday

**One**

He can see the lights on in the front room of her house. The Christmas tree is on, shining bright, and he grins a bit, thinking that she probably spent hours the week before decorating it, making it look like she pulled it right out of a Macy's commercial. It makes him grin a bit, thinking that she's probably been so proud of it.

Eric watches Calleigh from his car as she walks around the front living room where the tree is, blowing out candles, and then she draws her curtains a bit, just enough to still show off the tree. She got a real tree this year, and he knows that the novelty is going to wear off once she sees the circle of needles appear on her floor. She is very particular, very neat, especially about her floors. She polishes them and sweeps regularly. He knows this after spending most of his time with her in her house. He admits he's not the tidiest person around, tending to leave clothes in a pile in the bathroom, not putting things back where they belong, and being of the mindset that chores can always be done later. She never said a cross word to him about it, though.

She is so sweet like that.

The light in the front living room turns off and only the glow of the Christmas tree illuminates the space. The rest of the downstairs of her house darkens and then moments later, the lamp is on in her bedroom.

In the deep recesses of his sense memory, he conjures up the fresh, flowery smell of her bedroom, the soft lavender scent she washes her sheets in, the sweet, but soft smell of her perfume. The faint smell of vanilla and berries would always fill the air when she brushes out her long, blonde hair, and he would always chuckle when she muttered an "ow" following a deep frown when she caught a tangle or two. Such vivid memories that he has stored so that he has a memory of her for every mood.

It's been hard enough not working with Calleigh, but to not see her at all...to not be able to have the certainty of hearing her voice, smelling her skin, kissing her soft, supple lips and threading his fingers through her silky hair...it's been too much. Eric knows that after everything that's happened, the implicit trust they used to have has been broken. After the shooting and his return to work, she couldn't quite look at him the same. Her eyes held the weight of betrayal in them, and he recognized that he'd caused her the deepest pain, he pierced her very heart with his lies, his stubbornness, his refusal to let her help him do things the right way. He's been no better to her than the other men in her life. When there's no trust, there's nothing.

In the months that they've been apart, he's fiercely held onto what he had with her. Calleigh has been his mainstay, she helped him rebuild his life both professionally and personally. Her resilience and strength gave him a strength he'd never known before. The last three years have changed his life in ways that are irreversible. Getting shot on the job and surviving major brain surgery twice has done something to him. Everything he thought he was so sure of, seems fleeting to him now. He's still trying to make sense of the new lens through which he views the world. He woke up that morning he was due back at work, thinking that the last thing he wanted to do that day was go back. He thought he'd been ready, but he hadn't been because he felt as though he left so many _other_ things undone. As if one brush with death hadn't been enough to irrevocably change his life, he'd experienced a second, and emotionally, that had been his undoing.

Watching that young couple die right in front of him, both in the same damn day, had done something to him. They'd both been on the cusp of a future together, and then it'd all been cruelly ripped away from them.

Eric knew what that felt like, being threatened with losing the one thing he needed, loved the most. Seeing Calleigh on that respirator had scared him. She'd lost consciousness in his embrace as he hooked his arm under her legs and lifted her lithe body up and carried her out to the ambulance, impatient for the paramedics to enter the building. He ran down the hallway, with her limp, almost lifeless body in his arms, then he gently laid her onto the gurney. On the way to the hospital, she stopped breathing completely, her heart rate slowing, her pulse thready and weak. He thought he was going to lose Calleigh, and losing her would surely be losing everything.

So when he watched as those two kids struggled and then lost the battle for their lives without being able to say one last "I love you," he knew that he couldn't work at CSI. Not right now, when he had so much more to discover about his life. When he had things that needed to be resolved within himself, with his family...with Calleigh.

"_I can't imagine going to work without you..._"

He'd uttered those words to Calleigh while she'd been in the hospital.

At that point, he really couldn't imagine arriving at work and not seeing her face. Seven years of working with her, seeing her face, hearing her voice...it would alter his world too much not having her by his side day in and day out.

The last few months though, he's had to because he left.

The decision to leave CSI had been a gradual one, but the final decision had been made when he watched that couple die, when he couldn't reign in his emotions and lost it with the CEO of the company that caused the deaths. The job had become his life, and then when he finally revealed his feelings to Calleigh and they began their relationship, he thought that maybe, just maybe he could put the job second for once and be happy with her.

Then came the betrayal.

He broke her heart.

But, he did it so that she wouldn't get hurt.

Eric didn't want any of what he was dealing with to touch her. He would never forgive himself if it did. His need to protect her and his need to rescue his father from a life he so clearly wanted out of clashed and then he found himself caught between two factions of his life. Calleigh made him choose, Sharova made him walk a fine line.

Eric doesn't regret saving his father because he believes that everyone deserves a second chance. Alexander Sharova is his father, and though he knows that he will never fully know the man, at least he's around and free and out there in the shadows. He doesn't think Calleigh will ever understand fully; she sees things in black and white, and to her, Sharova isn't a father, he's a criminal. He hates to think it, but he believes that part of her frustration had stemmed from some twisted jealousy.

Their relationship had been near-perfect.

They were happy, enjoying the time they were spending with each other, and things were progressing steadily, not too fast, but not too slow, either. When Calleigh was released from the hospital, he treated her to a light dinner and then she curled up into him as they watched a movie and ate some popcorn. Her body had felt smaller than usual, weakened by her stay in the hospital. She'd barely eaten while in the hospital, and her trauma caused her weight to drop. In those first few weeks, he simply just fed her. Anything she wanted, he made for her, and sure enough, he succeeded in his goal of filling her out again. The fullness came back in her face, and her soft, defined curves returned.

Once she fully recovered, he took her on a proper date, and that night they made love for the first time.

He grins.

_Hands skimmed over silky, sweet-smelling flesh before his lips met hers for a deep, loving kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he gently nibbled at her lips before she opened her mouth and invited him in, exploring the taste of her mouth as his fingers threaded through her blonde hair, which was fanned out over the pillow. _

_Eric heard her whimper into his mouth and he gently pulled away, moving on to Calleigh's neck, leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses along the cord in her neck and she tilted her head back in ecstasy as one hand found a soft, warm breast and he began to squeeze and flick his thumb over her nipple. She arced up into his touch, then, moaning as she closed her eyes._

"_Eric..."_

_He joined them and she gasped then whimpered as they fitted and molded together tightly._

"_Calleigh..."_

_She brought him into a chaste kiss, bucking her hips up into his, making him lose all thought._

Eric remembers clearly how she sounded, tasted, felt when she arched up into him on a cry of pleasure. He remembers her beautiful face, and how it was aglow with ripe passion and newfound...love.

Because they'd been so happy, because for once, everything was going so well in both their lives, something had to go terribly wrong. It all just went fucking wrong and Eric finds himself now in a state of anger. The one relationship that he'd been in that had a fighting chance was broken apart because of his quest to find out the truth about his birth.

He kept knocking on the Devil's door and someone answered him. Alexander Sharova, who put a hit on him, who denied him, denied his mother, practically dismissing her as a whore. Calleigh hadn't liked what he was doing from the second he told her, but, he's always been one to finish what he started. That's when he drew Calleigh's ire, her jealousy.

Now he understands where she was coming from.

First, he could barely bring himself to tell her, his best friend, that he was living out of a seedy motel in a bad part of Miami. He knows that she would have had his back, but his protective instincts kicked in. That'd been a betrayal of everything she's held true of them, that if they couldn't talk to anyone else, at least they could talk to each other. He'd broken that for a bit, but it quickly healed.

But once he found out about his father, and then began to get to know him, that's when she showed her capacity for bitterness.

Calleigh has been hurt time and again by most of the men that have been in her life before; Eric knows that the value she holds closest to her heart is trust. Getting her to open up sometimes is like a delicate, life saving surgery, but once she does, the trust is earned, made stronger. He's known for years that Calleigh carries anger, resentment, and pain from her father's drinking and he's known that a lot of the reasons why her relationships have been so unsuccessful is because she has a fear that she will be let down. She always ends up second and it's hurt her deeply.

Eric thought that he would be the one to heal that wound, but he only twisted the knife deeper.

She became jealous and resentful of his father, and also of how easy it'd been for him to trust Sharova's word over her rationale. She wanted his complete, undivided allegiance and devotion at the cost of a truth that affected both of their lives, really. Did he put his own needs above hers? Maybe. Did he hurt her deeply? Yes. He shouldn't have lied to her, but he doesn't regret finding out the truth. He was hoping that she'd at least understand that.

They both carried years of anger, pain, hurt, and seemingly insurmountable needs into their relationship. Then the seeds of mistrust and suspicion had been sowed and bloomed into a wilted garden of disillusionment and a sadness that he hasn't experienced since Marisol died.

Calleigh was, is, his saving grace.

_Calleigh_.

How many times had he uttered her name in the middle of the night? In the middle of sweaty, feverish dreams or in the middle of a horrific nightmare?

Her name became a mantra when he'd been recovering the first time from his injury. It was almost as if, when he woke up in the hospital to find her sitting next to his bed, she'd had this light around her that told him that she was the one. That once he got out of that damn hospital, he was damn sure going to put the pieces of his fucked up life together so he could muster up the courage to tell her how he really felt about her.

A few months into that, he became so discouraged because he had to work through the residual effects of the shooting on top of sorting out and understanding his feelings for Calleigh. He had to make sure that he wasn't just simply projecting or fixating on her, as his therapist had warned him. He had to make sure that he wasn't _"Conjuring up an image of Calleigh that exceeds the bounds of the reality in which you'd both been operating long before the shooting."_ In other words, was he trying to turn his friendship with her into something more because of his trauma? Or were his feelings for her genuine and not just because she'd been the one to take the initiative to help him?

But she had to be feeling something for him on a deeper level to care for him like she did, to cover for him and put her ass on the line for him, right?

"_I appreciate you for appreciating me."_

She had to have been at the same point that he was, realizing that their friendship was more than just what they've defined it to be. But calling it friendship was safe, sure, and unwavering, especially because of Jake.

Eric involuntarily clenches his jaw at the thought of the man's name.

Jake was the thorn in his side that finally, blessedly went away. Never has there ever been a human being in his life that has vexed him more than Jake Berkeley. He doesn't hate the guy. He's only hated one other guy before and that'd been Nick Townsend, Natalia's ex. Sure, when it came to dating and relationships, Eric admitted that he'd been an immature asshole, but he would never, ever even _think_ of abusing a woman. That just...defies every social and moral code assigned to manhood. His blood boiled at the knowledge that Nick had abused Natalia and to this day, he's not sorry the bastard's dead.

Jake had posed less of a physical threat to Calleigh, but he certainly posed an emotional threat to her.

Eric simply couldn't understand for the life of him how such a beautiful, intelligent woman could stand to have her heart broken over and over again. It just didn't make sense. It'd always baffled him, from when he first began working with her, it baffled him. When she dated Hagan, he knew that something was amiss in that relationship. For one, Hagan had been too old for her; then, she'd been twenty five years old, bubbly, still wearing cute little bows and hair clips...not quite grown up and well...twenty five. John had been nearing forty at the time, and he thought that because she was younger, he could control her, make her into a wife and mother. Calleigh loved her job too much, and John let her bubbliness fool him because she was more intelligent that he gave her credit for. Eric thinks that he might have been intimidated by her, and while he doesn't think that he abused her physically, he thinks that John may have abused her emotionally, perhaps even harassed her after they broke up.

Calleigh lived with Hagan for a few months and in that time, she became more withdrawn, her moods were always dampened, and her schedule became his schedule. Hagan fell in love with her, and she left because she didn't want to be made to love him back.

In that time, Eric always stayed neutral, but watched her with a careful eye, pondering how she could take it, knowing what kind of woman she was.

Then Jake came back into her life, and Eric knew that she loved him. She had to, for her to let him manipulate her, abandon her, leave her alone when she needed him most. In his own way, Jake loved her back, but he was just as scarred and crippled emotionally as Calleigh.

There's a place inside her that needs validation, that needs love to fill the void.

Eric honestly thought that he could be the man in her life to do that.

He _wanted _to be the man in her life to heal every last hurt and hold her up and show her that she is important and worthy and for a little while, he was, until he caused more pain for her already damaged heart.

Now, here he is, a few years, a relationship, and a subsequent break up later, sitting in his car outside of her house like some creepy stalker wishing that he could be with her right now.

Oddly enough, all of the memories and the reflections aren't the things that brought him here to Bal Harbor. Not at all.

Eric sighs as he fingers the small, velvet box in his hand.

_Over an hour has passed, and the man has paced a hole in the floor gazing into the case of engagement rings. He kept turning down the retailer's suggestion of calling a representative, sure that he would make his purchase soon. _

_Eric was very much aware that a proposal three months into a relationship was a bit soon, but he knew that the ring would come in handy very soon, and he was financially prepared to buy Calleigh one now and then save it for later. He spoke to his father about it, and Pavel Delko laughed heartily, shocking him because his father was a man of very few words...and hearty laughs for that matter. His father told him to buy a ring if he was absolutely sure about the direction of his relationship._

"_Consider it an investment," Pavel said and that was just what Eric wanted to hear._

"_Sir, would you like to speak with a representative?"_

"_No."_

"_Would you like-"_

"_That one."_

"_I'm sorry?"_

"_I want to buy that one."_

A size five, platinum, circle cut diamond engagement ring.

Eric made sure to memorize every detail about her hand and fingers so that he could make the right choice. He rummaged through her jewelry box to figure out her exact taste and what she liked. She liked simple, not too showy, but not cheap either. She wore diamonds well, and she favored silver over gold. He took that knowledge with him to the jewelry store and bought her the ring. He hid it away, somehow finding the patience to wait for the right time to propose.

That time never came because of his father, the lies, the anger...everything.

Leaving CSI has given him a new perspective on things, though he hasn't had the time nor the inclination to have some kind of love life. Calleigh has had a significant impact on his life, and he doesn't think that he ever wants that impact to stop. He doesn't want what he feels for her to stop. He doesn't want the intimate bond between them to ever end.

He realized that when he opened up the drawer in his bedside table this morning to retrieve something or another, and his hand brushed over velvet. He found the ring he bought her all those months ago; more than that, he also found his resolve.

He was an idiot, that evening after the interview with Stetler, for not telling her right then and there that he was in love with her. His actions had communicated as much, but he knew that for Calleigh, hearing the words would mean that much more, and at the moment where it would have mattered to her, to both of them, most, he stayed silent, and he couldn't say it. Eric left, thinking that he may have just killed whatever was left of their relationship. He'd been too much of a coward again to tell her what he was feeling. Eric had deluded himself into thinking that maybe a separation was the best thing for them.

He bought his own load of bullshit, and he's pretty sure that she bought her own as well.

But then he found the ring he bought her.

All day today, Eric has been thinking, planning on how he wanted to approach her. It's Christmas Eve, he had hope.

Then that hope faded as the hours went by, each one bringing reality into the equation.

They've barely spoken to each other, they butted heads when they worked that case together, they haven't resolved all of the residual issues from the investigation and their break up, and he feared that she just simply wouldn't have him after the way things have gone. Perhaps he'd been the one to break her faith in love and trust in anyone once and for all. That would definitely break his heart to know that.

By the time he got up the courage to be able to drive to her house for the tail end of her Christmas party, he'd lost any and all courage he spent all day trying to muster. He's talked himself down, thinking, why the hell would you put yourself through the pain of a rejection?

He looks up at her window, seeing that the light in her bedroom is still on.

He's been out here well over an hour, and he is becoming tired.

Eric opens up the box and takes a look at the ring. It is beautiful, just right for her, and he supposes that it doesn't _have_ to be an engagement ring. The cut is actually rather neutral, and can make for a pretty piece of jewelry. She can wear it with an outfit....he will give it to her as a Christmas gift, just leave it in her mailbox with a small note because that's what he's good at. He did the same thing with the truffles. He was both hoping that she was in her lab and that she wasn't. He didn't know what he was going to say, he just wanted to give her the truffles. He got his wish, she had already taken off and that made his task easier. The words were right there, but he was given yet another reprieve from verbalizing them.

Only Calleigh could make him want to bite his tongue.

He's been so goddamn patient, though!

Why not take a chance now when he's technically had three years to tell her out loud that he was completely in love with her?

How much longer is he going to hold back so as not to scare her?

Maybe Calleigh _needs_ to be scared. Maybe she needs to understand that he is done playing games and that she needs to get over her insecurities and her fears and her perceived inadequacies and understand that chivalry isn't dead, that he is worthy of her trust and love, and that it's not going to be easy, it's not going to go her way all the time. He wants her to know that he will protect her, that all that happened between them was to keep her safe.

Eric wants her to know what her very existence means to him.

The light in her bedroom goes off and now all is completely dark in her house, except for the tree.

He sighs again, closing the box.

He thinks he'll come to accept that they weren't meant to be, that what they shared was good at the moment, a need that had been met. Perhaps they've sapped each other and their relationship of all the intensity and passion and left a trail of gray ashes in its wake.

In his hand, he holds two futures contained in one piece of jewelry.

He could grow a pair and get out of the fucking car, knock on her door until she answered, and get on one knee and confess everything to her amidst a proposal.

Or, he could pocket the ring, drive off and leave her be, let her have a peaceful Christmas and a peaceful life without the chaos of him in it. He could save the ring for another woman that he knows he won't love nearly as much as he loves Calleigh.

It's arrogant of him to think that time will be kind to him, but maybe, someday, if he were to drive off now, that when he comes back, he will be able to get out of the goddamn car, because the rest will follow, free from the confines of his Prius.

He puts the ring into his pocket then he turns the key in the ignition and his car starts with a clean hum. Just as Eric is about to pull away, there is a sharp knocking on the passenger side window.

**TBC**


	2. Two

Maybe, Someday

**Two**

Eric furrows his eyebrows and he looks over and sees that it is Calleigh.

He unlocks the door and she opens it up and slinks into the seat, bundling up in her little sweater.

She looks at him.

"Hi."

"Hey..." He says, noticing her attire.

She has on a blue plaid cotton nightgown that comes to her knees, leaving the rest of her legs available to his sight, barefooted, and a flimsy black sweater. Her hair is pulled back into a loose ponytail that cascades over her shoulder. Her hair has gotten longer lately, he notices, and he feels the sudden urge to push a lock of it around and over her shoulder, but he resists it. This is already awkward enough.

Of course, he's seen her with her night clothes on before...and with _a lot_ less, but that's not what's making it awkward. The fact that he's been sitting in his car outside her house plus the fact that they haven't been able to have a decent conversation with each other in weeks since he worked the Davenport/Sheffield case with her and the team. They'd been kinder to him than he'd expected, especially Calleigh, and honestly, that's what gave him a sliver of hope. There was something in her eyes that told him she was ready for some kind of resolution to their increasingly straining relationship.

She sighs and grins a bit.

Calleigh became aware of the car parked outside of her house when she went upstairs to change into her night clothes. She'd thrown a Christmas party, and most of the team and a few other friends showed up. She extended an invitation to Eric, hoping that he would come, but not exactly sure what she'd say to him. She's never been one to hold back, to not say what she wants to say, but lately, around him, she's held back her words and so much more.

More than her words, she's held back her heart from him and from herself.

She doesn't know what she can say that will express the depth of the hurt he left her with. When she thinks of the past few months all she can think of is the hell and pain he put her through before he left CSI. For the second time in just a few short years, she thought that she was going to lose him. She spent that whole day, agonizing over the possibility that she may have delivered the shot that caused him to crash. No one talked to her for a long while, and she just sat there, in the waiting room in the ER alone, waiting for word. Finally, Alexx appeared and then couldn't even say for sure that Eric was going to make it.

"_He's young, and he's strong..."_

That said, she gave Calleigh a comforting hug, somehow knowing that the depth of her anguish and anxiety went deeper than just a love for a friend.

She didn't think that a man like Eric existed anymore. She didn't think that he'd be so..._wonderful_ with her. Damn near perfect, though he's quick to point out his flaws and admit that he's working on them. He was so romantic, and loving, his heart right out there for her to see. She honestly thought she'd been dreaming when she was in the hospital. He put his watch around her wrist, a sign that he'd been there, waiting, just as she'd put her cross into his hand when he was injured to let him know that she'd been right by his side.

Whispered the most sacred words of his heart right into her ear, breaking right through to her subconscious, into her dream state.

"_I can't imagine living my life without you."_

Just her merely being alive made the man happy, and she knew then, when she woke up and touched his watch, that he loved her, his watch a tangible symbol of that.

When they began their relationship, she couldn't believe how happy she was, how utterly complete she felt. All the pieces fell together, Eric being the final one in the center of her life. She admits now that at first, she was skeptical of where their relationship was going; she wasn't sure if what they were heading into was real because she'd be lying if she didn't think about the way Eric used to handle his relationships. He'd played around for years, going form one girl to the next, none that wouldn't make his mother proud and wouldn't put in the time or effort to make a relationship work. She envied him, wishing that she could be just as care free, relinquish some of the control she had and not invest so much of herself. But on some level, she knows that he was trying to fill a void. Deep down, he wanted relationship that worked, he wanted marriage, a house, kids...everything.

After he got shot the first time, he changed, became completely different.

Calleigh liked the more open side of Eric. Instead of being angry, he was honest, told her that he needed help and she was more than willing. She could see something different in his eyes, she could see that he'd let his guard down and in turn, she slowly began to let down hers. Their friendship deepened, and the care he showed for her touched her. Before she knew it, she began to have feelings for him, more than just being his friend of seven years. He began to mean so much to her, and she found so much comfort in him being there for her. He'd been so grateful to her, and the way he wanted to repay her with showing her all the kindness he had within him.

How did she repay him?

She closes her eyes, feeling the heated air caress over her face.

Jake.

She played with Eric's heart, maybe too long, she thinks.

"_You and I are in the lab day and night...I trust you with my life. I don't even know how I feel about Jake yet."_

And then at the end of that day, she'd kissed Jake, and Eric bore witness and she could see that her statement had translated into a lie in his mind. Instead of facing him, she let Jake whisk her away to Antigua and let herself get lost in the sea air and the serenity.

It took more months for her to finally realize that maybe, in all her years of waiting, Eric had been the answer. Maybe all that she'd wanted in a man had been right in front of her; but her mind convinced her that it wasn't in either of their best interests to enter into a relationship, to just maintain their close friendship, but she didn't even know what that meant anymore.

More months went by and she read his file when his therapist, Dr. Marsh had been murdered.

"_It would be nice if it were Calleigh._"

All of his deepest, heartfelt desires were made bare before her, and she had no idea that she held the key to all that they've both been wanting.

When they finally let their feelings for each other spill over, it'd all just been so _easy_. She let him teach her what intimacy felt like and that she didn't have to be afraid of what their relationship would bring. He wouldn't let her hide from him, no, just put his finger gently under her chin and lift her eyes to his and the softness in his brown eyes would be her truth serum. She couldn't hide from him, even if she tried and he handled her emerging, new feelings with care.

Everything had been so great.

She opens her eyes.

"_You cannot cross this line...I won't watch you do it."_

Alexander Sharova.

The catalyst in the mix of everything that went wrong in their relationship.

He'd been deceiving her about what he was doing with his father; the nights where he would be preoccupied, shady...she knew that against her wishes, he was contacting his father. She hated to be the griping, nagging girlfriend about it, but she only wanted Eric to let it go so that the pain and confusion she was so obviously feeling would abate a little bit. If she couldn't be in that part of his life, then the least she could do was try to help him let it go. But she knew that Eric wouldn't let it go.

He chose to help his father, much to her chagrin and that divided them. Sharova, no matter how many times sliced, is and always will be a criminal. It's all he knows, and that life is hard to leave behind. Eric may be willing to forgive, but Calleigh is not quite so easy.

Eric made his choice, and it cost them everything they had together, and it almost cost him his life for a second time.

Now here they are, outside her house in his car, Christmas music playing over the radio.

The smell of his cologne is still intoxicating, familiar. Neither of them really knows where they stand with each other; ever since Stetler planted that seed of doubt in their heads over semantics, goddamn semantics, they haven't been sure of their relationship. Even now, when she gives it a thought, Calleigh can feel the dull ache in her heart at the fact that outside that evening, she had a chance to tell him all the things that had been swirling around in her head.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him, that she missed him and that whatever problems still remained between them could be worked out. She was willing to put in the time and effort because she loved him.

_Loves_ him.

Calleigh didn't say a word, only offered him a small smile before he walked away from her, and eventually, the lab, his life with CSI...with her.

When she saw him again, she could think nothing but, what a different a few months has made.

He'd grown his hair out, something which she thinks she still has mixed feelings about, he'd been unsure of what direction he wanted to go career wise, and he _still _had that hideous blue checkered shirt on that he couldn't seem to bring himself to part with. She honestly thought he'd given it away with some of her things when she took a bunch of items to the shelter, but when she saw him wearing that damn shirt, she knew that he had lied to her about it. He looked more rested, though, less stressed, maybe even a little less complicated. And even through all of the tension and the arguments, he still looked amazingly handsome to her.

He looks handsome now, sexy, actually, with a simple black sweater on and black slacks, hair a little neater and shaped, and he looks a bit troubled.

She can still feel her heart being magnetically drawn to his and she is trying to fight it like hell as it does.

"So uh...you never did tell me if you got the job with Talbin," she says, breaking through the silence and looking at him.

"I-I'm sorry," he says sincerely. "I meant to call you. I got a two year contract with the DA's office. Thanks for letting me know about it."

She smiles. "I'm guessing you didn't have to think too hard, did you?"

He chuckles. "Not really. I wanted to stay in Miami...I missed it here."

"_Miami missed you too..."_

What the _hell_ was that? Almost four months apart, and she still couldn't swallow her pride and tell him what she really felt? She still felt so much anger, disappointment and hurt behind his betrayal. She thought that she would come first because for a while, he did put her first. She was important to him, what they had together had been important and in the end, when he had the biggest decision of his life to make, he chose his father, a goddamn criminal whom he barely knew over her, his friend, his lover, supposedly the woman that he wanted a future with...the woman that he loved, though he never told her out loud.

She shivers again, but it's not from the chill outside.

"It doesn't surprise me that you came out here barefooted and in pjs," he muses.

"Well, you just missed the damn party," she says bitterly, looking out the window.

"Calleigh, I-"

"Why didn't you come in?" She asks, looking at him. "Why have you been sitting out here like some creep?"

He sighs. "I don't know, Cal."

"You don't know?" She asks incredulously. "You've been sitting outside my house for an hour, doing God knows what, and you don't even have a decent answer beside 'I don't know'?"

"What do you want me to say, Calleigh?"

"Why are you here?"

He shakes his head and looks down at his hands.

"I was going to come to your party earlier, but...I really just wanted to talk to you," he confesses. "I missed you, I miss hearing the sound of your voice."

Calleigh gently bites at her bottom lip.

"I know that a lot has happened between us," she begins. "But...you can call me. We were best friends first, weren't we?"

He nods, then he looks at her.

"What if I don't want to go back?"

"Back to what?"

"Back to the way things were with you," he explains and she crosses her arms over her chest.

"That's the way it has to be, Eric."

"I don't want it to be that way," he says. "I thought that maybe-"

"What?" She begins impatiently. "You thought you'd show up here, snap your fingers and everything will be back to normal? We can just pick up where we left off?"

"No," he huffs. "And don't be condescending. Don't talk to me like that."

"Oh you go to hell," she hisses. "You don't get to dictate to me."

"Why are you so angry?"

"What _aren't_ you angry?" She asks tearfully.

"I am angry Calleigh," he says. "I'm angry, confused, scared..."

As if she is not. As if she hasn't felt the pain of his absence in her life like he felt the pain of her absence in his.

"Well why don't you clear it up for us, then?" She asks bitterly. "Because it's getting late and I'm tired."

"I can't because I don't know if you even want what I want anymore," he says.

She rolls her eyes. "As if you had nothing to do with that."

"Dammit Calleigh, stop with the sarcasm and talk to me."

She turns to him, anger in her eyes.

"_Now_ you want to talk?" She yells. "You show up here at fucking ten thirty at night wanting to talk? You had three months to talk to me, to tell me what's happening and you haven't! Why am I always the one trying to save my goddamn relationships?! I am through trying to guess what you want!"

She looks away, sniffling as tears spill over and cascade down her cheeks.

He reaches over to touch her cheek but she pulls away.

"You made everything else more important than me," she continues. "And that hurt, Eric. After everything you told me, all the things you said to me about us, about our relationship, I trusted you, Eric. You won't admit it, but you chose your father, a man you barely even know, over me."

"You made me choose, Calleigh," he argues.

"That is bullshit, Eric."

"Is it? I didn't know what to do. I was trying to protect you and I was trying to help my father-"

"Alexander Sharova is _not_ your father," she says. "Science says he is, but...you already had a father that raised you, that loved your mother and treated her right, despite what she did. Alexander Sharova didn't give a damn about you until you went looking. I didn't make you choose. You made your choice long before the thought occurred to you to tell me the truth. I obviously didn't matter that much to you."

"You know that's not true," he says. "Of course you mattered to me. You still matter to me, but it's not always about you. I needed you, Calleigh, but you were so damn stubborn. I felt alone in my decision because you see everything in black and white. Yeah, Sharova may have been a criminal, but he's also a human being, he also happens to be my father. I have to deal with the fact that he was a criminal just like you deal with the fact that your dad's an alcoholic."

She glares at him then she moves to open the door, but she can't.

She presses the button to unlock the door and she gets out, slamming the door.

Eric gets out of the car.

"Calleigh, wait! I didn't mean that..."

"Yes you did," she cries. "You know you meant it! There you go lying to me again!"

It is more chilly than he thought, and he shifts his focus to trying to get Calleigh into the house so that she doesn't catch a cold.

"Let's go inside."

"No, let's finish this out here, right now," she says harshly.

He comes over to her.

"Calleigh, come on, it's freezing."

"No," she says stubbornly. "Tell me right here, right now what you came here to tell me, Eric. You came here tonight for a reason, and I'm really hoping that it wasn't to ruin Christmas, so tell me."

He stands there, motionlessly, silently, his heart pounding in his chest.

This woman is fire and ice and heaven and hell all wrapped up in one, gorgeous body, her mind a filter through which she translates every word he says, picking out all the sincerity in them, sucking the emotion out of them dry until all she can hear is negative because she's mad, she's skeptical and she's blaming him for being a part of the group of men in her life that have helped her build that almost impenetrable wall around her heart so that being hurt doesn't quite feel as bad as it should, as it does.

Calleigh stands in the middle of her walkway, waiting for the man to say something, _anything_. To assure her that what they have between them isn't completely over because she loves him.

_I love you._

She wants him to say something, but she is the one that needs to say something, make him stay because she knows he is going to walk away...he can see the toll that the intensity of this moment and the months past have taken on her. He can see that though she talks a good game, she can't let go. She doesn't want to let go, she wants him to be the man in her life that will take her hand and lead her into the life he wants so desperately to give her.

A tear falls and she sighs. "Eric-"

Before she can even process it, he cups her cheeks in his hands and brings her into a chaste, deep, hungry kiss. When she feels his warm lips against hers, her mind sends off warning bells and her heart races and nothing but pleasure that's lain dormant for months now courses through her entire body, sending out a tingling warmth that immediately knocks the cool of the night off.

It doesn't take long for Calleigh to wrap her arms around his neck, letting his tongue sample the taste of hers before she lets him in, wanting to get a taste of everything that's on the line right now.

Eric slinks his hands around her tiny waist and pulls her tightly against him, nibbling at her lip before soothing with his tongue and she whimpers.

All the words he could have said are so much better in a kiss.

In Puerto Rico, there's no shortage of beautiful women, he hasn't looked at or touched another woman with interest because Calleigh will always have his heart.

He could have gone back to Puerto Rico, but he came back to Miami for her.

A bit of arousal sparks between them as their bodies press close, her hips against his, her breasts pressing into his muscled chest, her nipples prodding through fabric from the cold. His hands caress over her back, hiking up her gown slightly, feeling the warm skin of the back of her thighs. They need to breathe, and were it not for that need, he would have carried on the kiss into the next morning if he had to.

She is the first to pull away, taking in a deep, shaky breath. Her cheeks are glistening with tears as she gulps air into her lungs.

He caresses her cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Calleigh," he says, then he backs away from her, and she shakes her head slightly in disbelief.

He turns and begins to make his way back to his car, his hand in his pocket, gripping the velvet box in his hand.

Calleigh wants to call him every foul name in the book, but instead, she stops being angry, stops being whiny and piteous of herself and petty and lets everything else, the world even, fall away as she takes a few small steps, panting with anxiety.

"I love you," she mutters quietly, but just loud enough that it stops him.

Eric turns and looks at her.

She walks toward him. "I love you," she repeats, putting her hands on his chest, sniffling a bit. "Eric, I. _Love_ you. I'm in love with you."

He grins, caressing his hands over her cheeks and she blushes, putting her hands on his arms, her thumbs caressing the back of his hands. He kisses her forehead and she smiles, looking into his eyes.

"I love you Calleigh," he whispers against her lips. "I've been so in love with you...I still am so in love with you and I didn't want that to ever stop."

She kisses him fully before she pulls away.

He hugs her tightly, feeling her shiver.

She looks up at him.

"Now we can go inside," she declares as she takes his hand and begins to lead him inside.

"Wait," he says, stopping her and she frowns.

"What now?"

"Can't leave my car running," he smirks and she chuckles a bit. "I mean, it's an energy efficient, low emission vehicle, but I don't want to run the gas out of the damn thing."

He quickly goes back to his car, kills the engine and locks it up before he comes back to her.

Calleigh takes Eric's hand in hers and leads him inside.

She caresses her hands up his chest and around to his neck as she brings him into a soft, loving kiss. His hands land on her hips, and he kisses his way over her jaw line and kisses her cheek.

"Calleigh," he whispers, groaning slightly when she leaves a scorching kisses to his neck. "Calleigh..."

She smiles into a kiss then she pulls away and looks at him.

"It's almost Christmas," she whispers between kisses.

"Mmhm," he agrees, loosening her ponytail and combing his fingers though her silky, berry scented hair. "What do you want, _carina_?"

She flushes with heat at the low rumble and huskiness of his voice and at the use of his pet name for her.

"I want to be with you," she says softly.

Eric smiles before he leans down and captures her lips with his again.

**TBC**


	3. Three

_Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful, funny, and touching reviews! One more after this one. Enjoy.

* * *

_

Maybe, Someday

**Three**

The smell of breakfast wafts into the living room, waking Eric.

He rubs his hands over his face before he opens his eyes. He sits up, feeling a bit stiff from the couch, and he glances at his watch. It is after ten, and he sighs resting back into the couch, looking at the tree, which Calleigh has turned off. She has also cleaned up a bit, and he grins. Last night, much as they wanted to, they decided not to make love. It was awfully tempting, considering Calleigh's rather flimsy attire, but there was a realization on both their parts that making love would intensify things way too soon. They decided to eat a late dinner and they spent much of the wee hours of the morning talking, much calmer this time, and watching the Christmas films on the classic movie channel.

Many words were said in anger, but they held so much truth. He's hoping that the trust they had will be rebuilt, because the love never went away; it was, as some people call it, a "rough patch," or a "rut." If his girlfriend shooting at him, him driving a car at her, and surviving brain surgery for the second time in his life doesn't qualify as a rut, well, then, they are shit out of luck. Eric can only hope and pray that things will only get better. The worst possible scenarios have all been lived out and maybe, God-willing, he, _they_, will finally be able to settle down.

He recalls something his father told him once when Eric had been in college. Through a simple keystroke error, he got stuck with some random class, American Agriculture. He doesn't remember what professor he had nor what knowledge he gained from that class, but his father happened to be around when he was in his crap ass apartment with his parents studying for his first test.

"_I hate this class."_

"_What are you studying hijo?"_

"_Some lame agriculture class...what do I know from farming? I barely paid attention when Mami went through her thing about wanting us to know how to garden."_

_Pavel chuckled as he sat at the raggedy formica table in his son's kitchen. _

"_Why is it better to cultivate the land at the bottom of a hill?"_

"_I don't know, Papi. It's completely stupid...what? Am I going to be sifting through manure as a forensic specialist?"_

"_It is not all stupid, mijo."_

"_None of this matters to me...only, if I wanted to be Farmer John, I'd take the land at the top of the hill. Makes more sense."_

_His father shook his head. "You would be one stupid farmer."_

"_Papi..."_

_Pavel held up his hand. "My son...it is better to farm at the bottom of the hill."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because when it rains, where does the runoff go?"_

_Eric grins, understanding. "Downhill...along with all the soil..."_

_His father laughed and clapped him on his shoulder. "You see? Not so stupid after all, eh? Especially for you. You have all these uh, uh, young girls calling, you think you're on top, don't you?"_

"_Well, actually...OW!"_

_His mother has smacked him upside the head, telling him not to go there in Spanish._

"_Ma, it's father/son talk..."_

_She muttered something else in Spanish._

"_Just remember, hijo...it is better at the bottom of the hill..."_

Eric chuckles to himself a bit.

His father somehow managed to find a short, but to the point, life lesson.

He didn't get it then, just storing in his mind under the heading "Dad Talked" and going on his way. He learned many random and rather useless things that would serve him well in a trivia game, like how during WWII, the bones of cows that died from neglect enriched the soil and eventually many crops with calcium and how the Dustbowl was caused by farmers actually cultivating the prairie lands in the Midwest, removing the short grasses that kept the topsoil from drying up completely and getting carried away by the wind.

Eric thinks he understands now.

The last four years for him have been a trial, and now, more than ever, does he want to just land somewhere and stay there. He thinks he's already won half the battle. After leaving CSI, he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. Then he decided that, for the first time in years, to actually take a vacation. No work, no phone calls, no worries for just a few weeks so that when he did began to think about his next move, he'd have a clear head. When he decided to be an expert witness for Trianni, he didn't know who he'd be observing or what the outcome would be. When he got to see Calleigh again, he felt both trepidation and excitement. He is always taken away by just how _beautiful_ she is. Everything else she does is just a bonus. From the moment he met her in that parking garage, he knew that whether he liked it or not, the petite Southern Belle would always be in his life, whether by his doing, her doing, or God's doing.

The way he used to be where women were concerned, he certainly believes it was God's doing.

He knows, with a humbleness that surprises him, that he doesn't deserve her. Not one bit, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try to.

"_The crop will flourish at the bottom of the hill."_

Well, he's no farmer, there's definitely no hill, and the closest "crops" are in the Supermarket, but he feels more settled than he has in a long time, and he hopes that what he and Calleigh have, what they have promised to rebuild together will flourish and survive because that's what they do best. Together.

He gets up and heads to the kitchen. Once there, he sees Calleigh at the stove, making pancakes and he goes over and wraps his arms around her waist. She smiles and blushes when he kisses her neck then her temple.

"Merry Christmas," she says.

"Merry Christmas," he whispers, putting his hands on her hips.

She still has on her nightgown, but she has shed the sweater and draped it over the stool at her island. He kisses over her shoulder before going over to the coffee machine.

"How'd you sleep?" She asks.

"I slept well, but I'm a little stiff though," he grins. "Made me remember why I hated that couch."

She looks at him, a smirk on her face. "You never complained about it before when we were together."

He raises an eyebrow. "Because my mind was usually on other things."

She smiles.

She has made quite a spread; bacon, scrambled eggs, biscuits, fruit and pancakes.

Once she finishes making breakfast, she serves him and then herself before they go back into the living room. She makes most meals from scratch, and Eric had been so glad to finally be with a woman who knows how to cook a good meal that doesn't come out of a box.

He takes a bite out of a biscuit.

"I've missed your cooking," he says and she smiles.

"Okay," she says, popping a grape into her mouth. "I have a present for you."

"Thanks, Cal," he says. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to," she says sincerely. "And...if you'd come to my party last night instead of sitting in your car, you would have got it sooner."

"Yeah, yeah," he says, taking the small box from her. "Thank you."

"Open it," she urges him excitedly.

"Alright, Cal," he laughs.

He tears open the wrapping paper and opens up the box. It is a watch, a very familiar watch actually, and he smiles, his eyebrows furrowed. It is the watch that he'd left behind months ago...the watch he put on Calleigh's wrist when she was in the hospital. He has several other watches, and he didn't even think about getting this particular one back from her. She wore it for a few days afterward, and he figured then that there was something in his small gesture that she didn't want to let go of. Afterward, it got lost in translation with all the back and forth between their respective places when they were together.

"I forgot about this watch," he says. "You've had it all this time?"

She nods solemnly. "Look on the back."

He turns it over and finds that she had engraved.

_You were with me, now I'm always with you._

_Yours, _

_Calleigh_

He looks up at her and she is blushing and he grins at how cute she looks right now.

She found his watch intermingled with her things in the drawer in her bathroom one day, and when she saw a physical reminder of Eric, of how she came into possession of his watch, she nearly cried at all of the memories and emotions that it evoked within her. His watch came to represent, at least for her, everything their relationship is...was...is? She is still so confused and she is scared out of her wits about everything, to be honest. She decided to have the battery replaced and then the back of it engraved with something short and sweet because she didn't know what else to say, or any other way of saying it.

If he weren't here now, she would have tracked him down and given it to him.

Calleigh of course doesn't know what will come of those words, her gift to him, this moment. She knows without a doubt that she is irreversibly in love with Eric. No matter what he's done or hasn't done, what he will or will not do, she will love him. She has never stopped loving him. He probably feels like he doesn't deserve her when it's quite the opposite. _She_ doesn't deserve _him_.

He'd been absolutely right. It's not about her, fulfilling her own needs. She hasn't been fair to him, comparing him to all the others who broke her heart. At least Eric cares enough to try to put it back together now. She is beginning to understand why Eric didn't want to bother her last night. She's stubborn, she keeps everything she's feeling crammed into a tight little corner of her heart, sometimes, she's unwilling to compromise...and yet, Eric is _so_ forgiving. And he was willing to risk it all again to tell her that he wanted her.

Calleigh met him halfway by coming out to his car and he met her the rest, bringing her into that delicious kiss and making her be the one to make him stay this time.

They've come full circle.

"Calleigh...you're incredible," he says, caressing her cheek. "This means a lot to me...thank you."

"You're welcome," she says.

He kisses her softly.

"I love you," he says, smoothing over her hair.

"I love you too," she smiles.

They finish eating breakfast then Eric helps her clean up the kitchen. When they finish, she wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him.

He puts his hands on her hips and he looks into her eyes.

Calleigh's gift to him means more to him than she can imagine. Her words to him that she engraved on the back make his heart pound. So simple, and at the same time so profound and a summary of their entire relationship. He hopes to God that she means _always_ because the ring is still in his pocket, nestled in its velvet box. Yeah, they still have many things to talk about, and there is still some unresolved tension, unanswered questions but...

"Do you have any plans for Christmas?" She asks, breaking into his thoughts.

"My parents," he says. "You?"

"I don't have any plans," she says, bringing her hands down onto his chest. "My daddy's in Louisiana visiting my sister, and my mom is on a cruise."

"You want to come with me to my parents?" He asks. "They'd love to see you."

She gently bites at her bottom lip. "I-I don't know, Eric. I mean, they know we broke up...what are we going to say?"

"That we're working it out," he shrugs, then he looks at her, seeing that she is very much troubled by the idea. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she smiles. "It's...nothing. You go be with your family."

"You are family," he insists, caressing over her cheek.

"Eric, I would love to come with you, but..." Calleigh pauses and kisses his palm. "Let's...let's just enjoy Christmas. I-I don't want a bunch of questions about us, right now. Go be with your family. I'ma curl up on my couch and watch Christmas movies and eat the rest of my cookies."

He chuckles.

"Alright, _carina_, whatever you want."

She smiles and the brightness of it and the radiance of her face just fascinates him and he falls deeper in love with her. She looks so beautiful in this moment, and..._natural_. No makeup, her hair is slightly tussled, loose, and her guard is down. This is how he wants to see her, everyday.

"I guess I better go," he says.

Calleigh walks Eric to the front door and he opens it and steps out onto the porch. She leans up against the frame. He kisses her softly one last time, his mind caught up in a tormenting debate.

_Now or never, now or never_.

"I love you, Eric," she says.

"I love you too," he says before kissing her cheek.

He pulls away and begins to walk down the steps.

_Now or never_.

"Eric?"

_Now_.

He turns to her.

"Yeah?"

She pushes her hair behind her ears as she steps onto the porch, looking around slightly, betraying her discomfort at being outside in her nightgown without a sweater at least.

"I know that you didn't plan on coming here last night," she begins. "But I'm glad you did. My Christmas turned out so much better than I could have ever...dreamed of. I hope your Christmas did too."

He grins, coming up the steps and standing close to her again.

"Not quite..."

She furrows her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

His heat is beating so fast, and he takes a deep breath.

Goddamn it, why is this so hard?

For some reason, he always thought that proposing to Calleigh would be easy. He's gone over several different scenarios in his head, the words he was going to say...little did he know just how fucking complicated and difficult it actually is. It's hard because it's chance. Pure. Chance. A fifty percent chance that she'll say yes, and a fifty percent chance she'll say no.

They still have many things that they need to discuss and resolve and change, but...Eric is so through with waiting and thinking because he knows that Calleigh is the woman that he wants as his wife. He wants to spend his life with her, wants her to be the mother of his children. More than ever, he wants the honor of being her _husband_, of always being worthy of her. Whatever problems they have that still exist is nothing that they can't overcome together. He just needs to put them in the right direction so that there isn't a chance in hell that he'll lose her again.

This ring is more than an investment, it's an unbreakable symbol of promise.

"Eric?"

He reaches into his pocket and he clears his throat as he gets down on one knee before her and before he can begin to say a word, Calleigh gasps, hands over her mouth as her eyes glisten with tears as she steps back a bit.

"You have no earthly idea how many times I've thought about this," he begins. "I bought this ring three months into our relationship and I was just waiting for the right time..."

She puts her hands on her chest as she begins to cry. "Oh my God..."

"And we both know any chance of the right time between then and a few months ago was shot to hell," he continues. "But I found this ring, and last night I came here and I was going to propose to you then, but I couldn't. I was afraid, and I'm still afraid but, if I don't do it now, then it's never gonna happen, and I need something for us to hope for together."

Calleigh sniffles as more tears fall down her cheeks.

His own eyes sting with tears.

"I will not let you go," he says. "Not again. I pray to God that this'll hold us together through whatever else we have to work out so that when we do make it official, _this_ is the only thing we have left between us."

He opens up the box and she sobs a bit, wiping at her tears.

She feels like she is in a strange dream that she cannot wake from. Her heart is racing and the blood is rushing in her ears and Eric's words are swirling around in her head, making her dizzy.

"Calleigh Suzanne Duquesne, will you marry me?"

Her breathing is quickening and she looks at the ring in the box and it is beautiful, just her taste and she wants to answer him, but there are so many things going through her mind, her heart.

"Eric..." She begins. "This is...oh my God. I-I...this is so soon...you want to get married?"

"Yeah, I do," he chuckles. "But I can't without you."

Calleigh sniffles. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to marry me?" She asks stubbornly and he sighs, getting up.

"You want me to repeat what I just told you?"

"I'm serious, Eric," she says.

"So am I."

"It's too soon," she insists. "Way too soon, Eric."

"It's not for me."

"Well what about me?"

"Calleigh," he says, getting frustrated with her. "Do you want to marry me or not?"

She frowns at him. "Well if you're gonna ask me like that..."

He throws his hands up and heads down the steps of her porch. "Jesus Christ! Is this really happening?"

"Eric...Eric...Eric!"

He blinks a few times, coming out of his daymare then he looks into her eyes.

"What?"

She chuckles, stepping closer to him.

"Did your Christmas turn out the way you want it?"

Despite the possibility of this going horribly wrong, he smiles, caressing her cheek.

"I hope it does."

With that, he reaches into his pocket and takes out the box and her eyes widen when he opens it and shows her the ring.

Her eyes glisten as she looks up into his eyes.

"Oh my God..."

He gets down on one knee.

"Calleigh Suzanne Duquesne, will you marry me?"

She takes in a deep breath before she gives him her answer.

"Eric..."

**TBC**


	4. Four

_Thanks again for all the reviews on this story! Writing it was fun and interesting. Working steadily on Pliant. Merry Christmas, enjoy.

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_

Maybe, Someday

**Four**

_They are in a park._

_The wind is blowing gently, there are children giggling and running and playing, couples are walking, and families are picnicking at the many tables in the park. Eric takes in the sight as he carries his own family's lunch while Calleigh and their two year old daughter, Lucia, walk a little ahead, Calleigh holding her hand as the toddler hobbles along, her attention caught up in all the activity. Strands of Calleigh's hair blow in the wind, and she stops when Lucia stumbles a bit._

"_Uh oh," Calleigh chuckles a bit._

"_Uh oh," Lucy echos as she pushes herself up. _

"_Let's wait for daddy."_

"'_kay Mumma."_

_Daddy._

_Next to his given name, he thinks he loves being called "Daddy" the most. _

_Calleigh picks up Lucy and she turns to him, grinning contentedly, a brightness in her incredible green eyes that he's never seen before. She looks so gorgeous holding their daughter, like she's just stepped out of a magazine photo. She has on a yellow, flowy sundress, her hair is contained only by a few bobby pins, and she has on just enough makeup, not too little, not too much, and she still looks so natural. Breathtaking. And his other best girl, Lucy, is simply adorable. A perfect blend of him and Calleigh, with her curly, sandy blonde hair pulled up in pigtails, Calleigh's eyes and nose, his lips and skin tone...she is so perfect, so beautiful._

_He catches up to them and he kisses Calleigh's lips softly before she begins to walk with Lucy again, looking back at him, blessing him with the gift a full, genuine smile..._

Eric starts as he wakes up.

His ears finally pop, the pressure evening out in the cabin of the jumbo jet. He sits up a little straighter, gripping the arm rests tightly as turbulence rocks the plane. The captain announces that they are lowering in altitude so that the plane can steady.

After a few tense minutes, the turbulence stops and Eric, along with the other passengers and crew, visibly relax and continue to enjoy the flight from Denver to Miami. He sighs, looking at his watch. His flight is expected to come in at around five o'clock eastern time, and he can't wait. He's not much for flying, and he certainly can't wait to get back on solid ground. He looks out the window at the bright blue sky. The pilots managed to rise above the steely gray clouds and the sleet.

Another Christmas is upon him.

It is Christmas Eve, actually, and he hates that he's been stuck in Denver. The conference he attended ended two days ago, but his flight back to Miami got canceled because of the snow storm. He'd been mad as hell, wanting to get out of the blistering cold and back to the mild winter of Miami. he sat around in his hotel room for two days, itching to go home so that he could spend whatever was left of Christmas Eve with his parents.

When the storm finally let up, he was able to get on his flight.

He sighs, thinking that there's no better place for reflection than 30,000 feet up in the air.

When is he going to learn that not everything goes exactly as planned.

Eric has never been more uncertain about the future than now. Evidence of that can be found in his dreams of late. Of course, they revolve around Calleigh, and he doesn't know if he should think that his visions of her should be taken as bad omens or a sign of things to come. He is troubled by the fact that his dreams have shaken him enough that he can't get a full night's sleep. He doesn't know if they are meant to torment him or to comfort him. This last one was bittersweet, giving him a sense of comfort, but also a sense that he needs to be fiercely protective. The dreams are driving him mad.

Especially since a year and a half ago, Calleigh said no.

"_Calleigh Suzanne Duquesne, will you marry me?"_

_A long silence passed, as she looked tearfully upon the ring, and she took in a deep breath._

"_Eric..."_

_She swallowed thickly as a tear slipped down her face and his worst fear did come to pass as she shook her head._

"_No..."_

Pain stabbed through him, and he knew then that he should have just stayed in the fucking car. On top of pain, he instantly felt anger and frustration and such a sense of loss that he nearly choked on it. His heart began to beat so fast with bubbling fury that he almost couldn't breath. He blamed himself, he blamed Calleigh, he blamed God...he wished that he had never found the damn ring. He wished that he had just bought her a cute pair of earrings for Christmas and left it for her at the lab like he said he would instead of giving in to the hope that they could take a leap of faith together.

He couldn't stay mad at Calleigh for long though, he decided once he stood up and looked into her eyes. Calleigh was commitment-phobia and heartache rolled into one, and he'd certainly given her enough reason to doubt that she could ever trust him again.

Still, he couldn't quite shake the pain.

A year and a half later, things have changed.

He finally bought a house, a house with more space than he knows what to do with, but the DA's office pays him quite well and he thought the investment was well worth it. He's still trying to settle in, but with the help of his family, it's coming along. He's thrown himself into other activities, trying to keep himself busy so that his thoughts aren't always drifting away into hazy, disjointed dreams and visions that leave him waking up in a sweat, shaken, and unable to rest.

The rejection had been absolutely the hardest thing to face, but he mended from that quickly, desperately wanting her friendship, and just wanting Calleigh to be happy, most of all.

And she is.

She's taken some time off from work to set up her own home business. It's not so surprising that it has much to do with photography, especially since she's spent nearly fifteen years indirectly honing her skills through photographing hundreds of crime scenes and countless numbers of evidence and other items.

She is thinking of leaving CSI herself, and honestly, Eric had been first shocked, then scared shitless for both of them. Their friendship had been based on their years at CSI. What the hell were they supposed to talk about now?

"_I think we'll figure it out, Eric," she assured when she informed him of her decision._

"_But forensics talk is so sexy," he teased and she rolled her eyes. "Especially when you're doing the talking."_

"_Yeah, a couple of thirty-something science geeks talking about CODIS, IBIS, luminol, and spatter patterns," she mused. "Real sexy, indeed."_

Still, he always thought she'd always be there, just as she thought he's always be there when he left. At a certain point, there is one case, one day, that changes the job. And for Calleigh, that day came when she got shot on duty for the first time in her career. The bullet got her in the shoulder, just missing the artery and she survived, but...the terror she felt completely gave her a new sense of her own mortality and that, try as she might, she can't save everyone.

So through the shock, he completely understood.

When he heard that she was shot, he was so afraid. He didn't know what condition she was in until he got to the hospital, and when he saw that she was still alive and in shock and more horrified than he'd ever seen her. That's when everything changed for her, for them.

_The rustle of the curtains can be heard in the room when the ocean breeze rushes through the open window, bringing that calming, briny, yet refreshing scent of the water. Eric wakes up and he turns onto his back, inhaling deeply, getting the feeling that someone is watching him. He grins a bit, turning onto his side._

_Brown eyes encounter green gazing back at him with amazement, with...love._

_Calleigh is on her stomach, her arms tucked under the plush pillow, her hair flowing down over her bare back. He scoots closer to her and he gently kisses the tip of her nose before he sweeps her hair aside and trails his fingers over her back. She smiles, closing her eyes as she releases a soft purr. _

_They are both exquisitely fatigued, stated, and enamored._

_After spending two days in the beachside suite, they finally succeeded in their attempt at leaving the room and going out for lunch in the hotel. They actually made it to the restaurant, but Calleigh managed to seduce him there, causing major problems. He didn't really believe it before, but oysters truly are an aphrodisiac. He didn't eat any oysters himself, but Calleigh did, and when she did, she'd been absolutely shameless in teasing him. The slurping and sucking served as an aphrodisiac for him, and he knew that it was definitely heightening whatever pleasure she was getting out of mercilessly teasing him._

_And that was the appetizer. They didn't even last long enough to eat lunch, as Eric immediately got up and took her hand and they rushed back to their suite._

_Their clothes are still in a pile at the door where they left them in their haste to make love again...and then again after that, making it a total of three times today (when they count this morning) before the afternoon is out. Now, Eric is just content to stare at her lovely face. _

_Only on a honeymoon can two people be so completely happy with just staring at each other. It is a good thing too, because after a while, he knows that there will come a point where they become too familiar. For now though, he tries to search for something new about her that he's never noticed before._

_Calleigh sits up onto her elbows._

"_I'm gonna go get our lunch order," she says and he furrows his eyebrows. "I ordered over the phone."_

"_Oh," he says, caressing his fingers down her arm. "Well hurry back..."_

"_Hmm, I'm thinkin' that I wanna take my time," she drawls. "Take in the scenery..."_

"_You're hilarious, you know that?"_

"_And you love it," she smiles._

_He cups her cheek and leans up and kisses her._

_She sits up and gets out of bed, the diamond ring on her finger sparkling in the sunlight. He gently catches her hand in his._

"_Carina..."_

"_Hmm?"_

_He chuckles a bit. "You know this will be our first time being apart since we've been married?"_

_She laughs. "Oh my Lord, it will be. I need a break already."_

"_From me?" He asks, feigning hurt as he puts his hand over his heart. "And on the third day of the honeymoon. Ouch!"_

_She quickly dresses then she comes back over to the bed and kisses him._

"_I shall return, love," she says before she heads out the back door. She looks at him for a long moment, before she steps out._

_Eric makes sure to remember that look..._

He awakens again, this time with more of a start, and he disturbs the passenger beside him.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes quickly to the college age kid beside him.

"No problem, dude."

Again, that disconcerted feeling crept into his dream, a feeling that he felt on a honeymoon. That is definitely strange. Usually, disconcertment doesn't enter into the list of feelings that a newly married couple has on their honeymoon.

Another hour passes before the captain announces that they are about to make final approach into Miami.

The _FASTEN SEATBELT_ light dings on, and he does so.

He feels the strange floating sensation in his gut as the plane lowers in altitude and he can see the familiar cityscape of Miami quite clearly. The mechanical symphony vibrates all throughout the plane as the flaps on the wings lower, and the landing gear robotically folds out, the tire treads ready to once again burn and smoke once it hits worn pavement of the runway.

The orange and blue lights of the flight path blur by as the plane picks up its final velocity as it lands, and the stripes on the runway speed by his eyes.

_SCREECH, SCREECH..._

The engine quickly decreases as the plane slows to a coast and the pilots glide the jet into the terminal.

Eric is home.

In Miami, at least, but he's not quite _home_, home yet.

After finally getting off of the plane, he makes his way down to baggage claim.

It is just his luck that his garment bag is in the first batch to make it to the claim and he picks it up before he turns and looks around.

"Eric..."

He sees his wife waving at him and he smiles when he spots her.

There has never been, nor will there ever be, a sight more beautiful than his wife smiling, waiting for him in the baggage claim of Miami International Airport. He walks over to her and he drops his bags before he gently wraps his arms around her and kisses her lovingly.

Eric pulls away and he takes Calleigh in.

_Calleigh sniffled as she took in the utter, pathetic hurt on Eric's face at her rejection. He closed the box and stood up._

"_Cal, I-"_

"_Give me your watch," she interrupted, her heart racing._

_He furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"_

"_Give it," she demanded and, like a trained puppy, he obeyed._

_He put on the one she gave him for Christmas as soon as he saw the inscription, and just when he thought that at least he'd have that much of her, she was going to take that away too? And he was _letting_ her?_

_She wipes her tears as she gets on her knees before him, confusing him even more._

"_What the hell are you doing?"_

_She was blushing madly, and she looked up at him._

"_Eric Delko, will _you_ marry _me_?" _

_This was definitely not how he envisioned this happening. And it wasn't another daymare._

"_What?"_

"_Will you marry me?" She asked again, and he shook his head as he sat on the porch next to her. she turned and faced him, tucking her legs under her. _

"_What are you doing, Calleigh?"_

_She looked down at the watch in her hands, caressing her thumb over her engraved message, and she sniffled as more tears came. He gently touched a finger to her chin and lifted her eyes to his. _

"_Calleigh, tell me," he urged._

"_I-I didn't know what else to say to you," she cries. "After we broke up...I almost couldn't take it, Eric. I swear, I almost couldn't take it. Then I found your watch, and...I realized how in love with you I was...am, but I was still afraid to tell you myself so, that's why I had your watch engraved. But then you made me forget about the past and this time, you made me jump, you made me risk everything because you've done the same for me. And I'm glad you did. I've hurt you, and for that I am so sorry. You have been the most loving, amazing man to me, and...I want you everyday."_

_She sniffled again and wiped her tears before she dangled the watch._

"_I'm in love with you, Eric Delko," she smiled. "I am so madly in love with you and nothing would make me happier, nothing would give me the greatest honor more than being your wife. So...will _you_ marry _me_?"_

_Eric cupped her cheek in his hand, catching her tears with his thumb, grinning._

"_You know I can't say no to you," he smiled._

"_So that's a yes?"_

"_That's a yes," he confirmed. "But Calleigh..."_

"_Yeah?" She asked._

"_If, in twenty or so years, we're still married and we want to renew our vows," he began. "I'm the one that's going to propose."_

_She laughed and rested her forehead against his. "Deal."_

_He kissed her._

"You look so amazing," he says, caressing her cheek.

Her hair is in large curls and in a ponytail tied off to the side so that the length of it can cascade over her shoulder, and she has on a red silk blouse and a pair of dark blue jeans with some sparkly red ballet flats on, and he chuckles.

"I thought you looked shorter to me," he comments and she rolls her eyes, scrunching up her nose a bit.

"I know," she drawls. "But you're looking quite handsome yourself there. You got home just in time."

He puts his hand on the six month swell of her belly, feeling their baby kick.

"The baby's been playin' around in there all day," she says. "I think he or she knew that daddy was coming home."

Daddy.

He loves the sound of that already.

Pregnancy has made Calleigh more curvy and a little more plump and Eric is loving every minute of it. He anxious to know the sex, though, but he has a good feeling of what they're having. Calleigh is enjoying her pregnancy so far as well, though she's not enjoying the wardrobe change. For some reason, he can't get her to like maternity clothes, no matter how fashionable and chic the style. She misses her petite sized blouses and slacks so much, and she doesn't help matters by calling her maternity clothes "frocks."

"I've missed you so much, _carina_," he says, kissing her again. "I can't even tell you how much I've missed you."

"Then why don't I take you home so you can show me?" She suggests against his lips and he raises an eyebrow.

When they arrived home, they immediately made their way up to their spacious bedroom with a view of the canal. Of course Eric figured that he could fill all the spaces in the house with children. Shortly after getting married, Eric and Calleigh made their first major purchase together. Their two story, five bedroom, three and a half bath home with gas fireplaces in the formal living room and in the master suite and a view of the canal, and with a pool.

Since then, they've slowly been decorating and finding furniture.

Calleigh surprised him with an early Christmas gift; some silver and white sparkly lingerie, a long, red feather, and some edible oils. After spending a couple of hours enjoying themselves, they quickly redressed and headed to Eric's parents' home to spend Christmas Eve with them.

Now, they are cuddled close on the couch in the living room, Eric's hand on his wife's belly as they watch _It's A Wonderful Life_ with his nieces and nephews while his parents and his sisters and their husbands are either at the table, still eating or playing games. He kisses her forehead as he rubs over her belly, feeling the baby kick.

_Eric found his wife in one of the private rooms in the ER. His heart was pounding the whole ride over to the hospital, afraid of what he would arrive to because he didn't know Calleigh's condition when she arrived._

_He was so incredibly relieved to find that she was sitting up, that she was all bandaged up and ready to go home. _

"_Carina," he said as he immediately kissed her. "I'm so glad you're okay. How are you feeling?"_

"_Like I got shot," she lamented and he rolled his eyes. _

"_Calleigh..."_

_She gently bit at her bottom lip, trying to keep the tears forming in her eyes from spilling over. She had to get used to it, the knowledge that she could cry in front of her husband._

_He brought her into a gently hug and that's when she set the tears free._

"_I'm sorry," she cried. "I'm so sorry."_

"_You don't have to be sorry," he assured. "These things just happen. All that matters now is that you're okay. Calleigh? It's alright."_

_She nodded and he wiped her tears for her, grinning._

"_Ready to go home, Super Cop?"_

_She chuckled a bit before she nodded and he helped her off of the bed._

_Before they could leave, the doctor came into the room._

"_Whoa there," Dr. Trent said with a smile. "Before you folks leave, I have some news."_

"_What?"_

"_Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Delko. You're pregnant."_

He grins.

He realizes that the odd dreams and visions are because he thought he'd nearly lost her again that day, with their baby inside her. But he knows that nothing his mind torments him with will come to pass because they've come too far already. Calleigh is strong, Eric is strong, and together they are _resilient_. Nothing can and will break them now. They simply won't let it.

Since finding out that they are going to have a baby, they've made some adjustments. Calleigh decided that she will leave CSI for good once the baby's born so that she can enjoy being a mother and also enjoy the fledgling success of her business. She does photography and she sells items for scrapbooking and she does workshops. She is so happy, and Eric is completely proud of her.

Maybe, someday, he'll stop thinking that it's all just some incredible fantasy that he is conjuring up while he's still sitting in his car in front of Calleigh's home, clutching the velvet box in his hand.

Calleigh places her hand atop his on her tummy and she kisses his cheek, whispering a question about the rest of the night's activities once they get home and he grins. It is real, _Calleigh_ is real..._they _are real.

"I have a present for you," he says quietly.

"And what's that?" She asks, raising an eyebrow at him. "'Cause if it's anything like what I gave you, I'm game."

He laughs softly. "Uh, this one's a little more innocent."

"What is it?"

"A name for our daughter."

She furrows her eyebrows at him. "And what makes you think the baby will be a girl?"

"We're gonna have a girl," he assures. "Trust me."

She eyes him suspiciously, thinking that he may have peeked at the last sonogram picture after all.

"Alright, lay it on me," she sighs.

"Lucia Marisol Delko."

Calleigh lets the name float around in her head a bit, then she says it out loud quietly to herself, then she nods.

"I think it's beautiful, Eric. It's perfect."

With that, she puts her hand on his cheek and kisses him lovingly.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Delko," he whispers against her lips.

"And to you, Mr. Delko."

Eric is glad that on that night, he got out of the car.

**END...MERRY CHRISTMAS**


End file.
